麻豆传媒

HERE鈥橲 one of those strange little facts that emerge from reports about the activities of different US government agencies. The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, it transpires, has refused to force car manufacturers to offer longer seat belts for obese passengers. The board found that even though there are 38 million Americans with a 鈥渟eated hip circumference鈥� of 47 inches or more, most of them can already find cars with seat belts that will fit them.

Our first thought was that 38 million obese people in a population of 280 million seems an awful lot. Our second was to wonder exactly what 鈥渟eated hip circumference鈥� means. How different is it from standing hip circumference or lying-down hip circumference? And why focus on the hips anyway? What about abdomen circumference? Doesn鈥檛 fat normally accumulate on the belly rather than the hips? What鈥檚 more, isn鈥檛 the shoulder-to-hip measurement the really important one when it comes to seat belts?

Perhaps someone can explain.

FEEDBACK recently had the pleasure of a chat with Alex, an African grey parrot with a vocabulary of over 100 words. Irene Pepperberg at Brandeis University in Boston has also taught Alex to recognise objects, colours and shapes, and even count up to six.

While sharing a walnut or two with the bird, our curiosity prompted us to ask Pepperberg if any mischievous students have helped Alex to pick up any inappropriate words. Apparently not, and Pepperberg is keen to keep it that way.

鈥淎ny student who swears in front of Alex is fired,鈥� she says. 鈥淚t鈥檚 one of the few rules I have.鈥�

The rule is all the more important because Pepperberg is also training two other parrots that already have impressive vocabularies. If the birds started picking up swear words and comparing notes, all manner of curses could sweep through the parrot world.

Luckily, Pepperberg鈥檚 parrots don鈥檛 talk to one another much. 鈥淭hey don鈥檛 seem to like each other,鈥� she says. 鈥淭hey鈥檙e all male.鈥�

THIS is what is known as hedging your bets. Reader Tracy Cushing was watching (and waiting to get on with her work) while her systems administrator performed yet another update to the Microsoft Office software on her PC. A dialogue window (entitled Product Updates Installation Wizard) helpfully informed them that 鈥淭his may take up to 20 mins or longer鈥�.

So that could be just one minute, or maybe 48 hours.

BE CAREFUL if you go hunting illegally in Florida. That deer you鈥檙e about to take a potshot at might be a robot.

Officers of the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission have employed a robotic deer 鈥� dubbed 鈥淩obo Deer鈥� 鈥� to help then nab poachers. According to a recent report on CNN鈥檚 website, officers set up the realistic mechanical deer, complete with moving head and twitching tail, and then wait and see what happens. So far Robo Deer has been run down by a truck, wrestled to the ground by a man armed with a knife, and shot repeatedly.

As the arrests have grown, so has the fame surrounding Robo Deer. Officers have been called by hunters reporting sightings of the mechanical animal in places it has never been.

鈥淎 lot of them want us to know we didn鈥檛 fool them,鈥� a conservation officer said. 鈥淭hen they want to know how we鈥檙e able to get him to jump fences. That鈥檚 when we just say, 鈥淚t鈥檚 a secret, and we can鈥檛 discuss that鈥�.鈥�

MOST computer error messages don鈥檛 make sense. So it鈥檚 usually easiest to assume that there is an error in the error message and all it鈥檚 telling you is that something is not going according to plan. But reader Justin Neville-Rolfe sends one that achieves profundity: 鈥淐annot copy What鈥檚 New,鈥� it announces. 鈥淭he path is too deep.鈥�

Which suggests that a Zen master may now be of assistance.

IN THE context, some might feel that EasyJet has made an unfortunate choice of words in the section about refunds on its website: 鈥淓asyJet does not issue refunds. However, requests for refunds will be considered in exceptional circumstances such as bereavements and on medical grounds, when a fee of 拢10.00 per passenger per leg will be charged.鈥�

AS reader Chris Searle started to read the 鈥渦ser cautions鈥� for his new Hitec battery charger, everything seemed fairly straightforward:

鈥�1. Never leave batteries on charge unattended.

鈥�2. Do not charge at too high a rate鈥︹��

But then he got to number seven:

鈥�7. If the battery to be charged is attached to the charger 鈥榖ackwards鈥� or in reverse polarity, the entire structure of the Universe as we know it will be substantially altered as time will then run backwards and it will be your fault.鈥�

You know it always pays to read the small print.

FINALLY, reader Anna Jolliffe鈥檚 local Sainsbury鈥檚 store had a special offer on 鈥渄igital tampons鈥�. It took her a few seconds to realise that these were not some strange high-tech device, but simply tampons without a cardboard applicator.

A mailshot from RBS Advanta advertising its credit card proudly announces: 鈥淭he plain fact is that our 0 per cent introductory rate is one of the lowest in the UK鈥�