Soap star ācounts to infinityā
THERE is a group on Facebook called āDr Karl Kennedy: Gynaecologist, Psychiatrist, GP, Master of the Universe,ā which you can visit via .
For reasons that we would not presume to question, it is dedicated, so Jonathan Burton tells us, to a character in the Australian soap opera Neighbours. It makes several claims about this characterās supposed exceptional abilities, such as the fact that he ācounted to infinity ā twiceā and that he ādoesnāt wear a watch ā HE decides what time it isā.
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Claim number five, however, is of a different order: āWhen Dr K does a push-up, he isnāt lifting himself up, heās pushing the Earth down.ā We are attracted to a relativistic quality in this claim, which reminds us of a remark apocryphally made by Albert Einstein himself: āThe station will leave the train at 4.15.ā Advanced theoretical physics makes itself felt in the most unexpected of places.
WHEN health-and-safety conscious builders arrived to do some work on Alan Potterās office, they brought with them stickers to alert everyone to possible hazards associated with their activities. One of these said: āWARNING ā THIS IS A SOLID OBJECT.ā
On looking at Alanās photo of this sticker, we could not help speculating on the circumstances in which this warning might be useful and, specifically, on which deceptively insubstantial-seeming objects the sticker ought to be placed. We completely failed to come up with anything and would be grateful if any readers can help us.
Alan himself says that the only object he saw the sticker on was a door frame ā clearly not something likely to be mistakenly judged as insubstantial. What was the sticker really intended for?
āThe label on the pashmina bought by Roger Plentyās wife Judith instructed: āDry clean only in cold water.ā Roger comments: āWe foresee some difficultyā
OUR thanks to readers who wondered if we had missed by Russ Andrewsās hi-fi company that it had conducted ārobust scientific testsā and could now state that all its claims āhave been proven with regard to the areas in which the ASA [the UK Advertising Standards Authority] ruled we did not hold scientific evidence to back up the claimsā.
As we reported on 7 May 2008, the ASA had told Andrews to produce ārobust scientific evidenceā or stop claiming that his mains cables, which now cost up to Ā£2686 a metre, improve the sound of a hi-fi system.
We had indeed seen the companyās September announcement, as well as its promise that āfull details of the equipment and test set-up and full results will be presented in a peer-reviewed White Paper to be published in Novemberā. We thought it fair to hold off on commenting until then.
Come January 2009 and we had still not seen the promised peer-reviewed paper, so we asked if we had missed it.
No, we are assured by Russ Andrewsās spokesman: āIt hasnāt been published yet ā getting the white paper written and independently reviewed has taken longer than expected.ā
Call us old-fashioned, but surely the time to finish a scientific paper and get it peer-reviewed is before telling the world that āscientific research has provenā your claims, not several months later.
WALKING through the covered market in Oxford, UK, Adam Potterton spotted a sign in a shop window with the claim āLifetime guarantee on all watch batteriesā.
āI havenāt been in to find out what that actually means,ā he says. āAny ideas?ā
One way to look at it is simple enough. It means the batteries are guaranteed to last as long as they last.
Keep away from big-mouthed children
A FRISBEE bought by Pete Davies has a label on it saying: āNot suitable for children under 3 years because of small parts.ā The only part involved is the frisbee itself, which has a diameter of over 20 centimetres.
āThere must be some pretty large-mouthed under-3-year-olds around,ā Pete observes.
Darwin competition ā last chance to enter
FINALLY, this is your last chance to send in your entries to our competition in honour of the 200th anniversary of Darwinās birthday. Feedback invites readers to provide 50 words on the thought-provoking theme of: āThings you would never have heard Charles Darwin say about evolution.ā
The editors will reward what we judge the wittiest non-Darwinism with the framed original of the beautiful artwork in āUprooting Darwinās treeā on page 35 of our 24 January issue, signed by the artist Yulia Brodskaya.
You may enter the competition by email ā with the subject line āDarwin Competitionā, please ā or by fax or post or by going to www.newscientist.com/article/dn16399. The competition closes on Monday 16 February and no entries will be accepted after that date. The winning entry and the best runners-up will be published in the 7 March issue of Ā鶹“«Ć½.
