IN PREPARATION for a trip to the tropics, Tadeusz Kawecki downloaded several dozen recordings of bird calls onto his Nokia cellphone. To his surprise, the phone sorted them into musical genres.
The song of the pied puffbird was classified as belonging to “oldies”, the laughing falcon to “pop” and the spotted wood quail “disco”. The dusky nightjar apparently sings “jazz”, the harpy eagle “metal”. Various kinds of woodpecker produce “dance” music, while the hoots of 11 species of owl are classified as “country”.
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What, we wonder, would bands like the Eagles, the Housemartins and the Byrds have had to say about Nokia’s classifications?
SINCE our report on the 400-plus customer reviews of the Denon AKDL1 hi-fi cable, offered for $9999 on Amazon (15 January), our attention has been drawn to three more items on the Amazon site that have become a magnet for a certain kind of review.
First there is the “Fresh Whole Rabbit” on sale for $43 at , which had garnered 84 reviews when we last looked.
Many of these focus on the not terribly attractive picture of a rabbit carcass that illustrates the offer. Reviewer Supercow rates the rabbit “magician approved”, noting: “Doesn’t eat much. Unlike living rabbits, it doesn’t poop in your magician’s hat.”
Elvis Nixon also approves. “How many weekends have I spent, in the loincloth, knife clenched in my teeth, running through the fields trying to find a rabbit?” he begins – and goes on to say how happy he is that now he can simply “yank this carcass out of the box”.
Next comes the tin of “Uranium Ore” on sale for $39.95 at , with an impressive 272 reviews. “I purchased this product 4.47 billion years ago and when I opened it today, it was half empty,” says a disappointed Patrick J. McGovern. However, a contented Kyle J. Von Bose reports: “The quality of this uranium is on a par with the stuff I was buying from the Libyans over at the mall parking lot, but at half the price.”
The top scorer we know of is the “Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 gallon, 128 fl oz” costing $48.09 at , with a hard-to-beat 1242 reviews. “One should not be intimidated by Tuscan Whole Milk. Nor should one prejudge, despite the fact that Tuscan is non-vintage and comes in such large containers,” asserts Philip Tone.
Other reviewers are moved to poetry or storytelling by the product, as in Robert Burgin’s reworking of a for language-learning software: “He was a hardworking farmboy. She was an Italian supermodel. He knew he would have just one chance to impress her. And so he bought a gallon of Tuscan whole milk…”
We’d love to hear if there are any products that have amassed even more reviews than this one.
Huge membership for science association
THE American Association for the Advancement of Science goes from strength to strength, judging by the membership it appears to be claiming.
An email flagging up its annual meeting in February announced: “Dr Huang, a faculty member at the California Institute of Technology and past president of the American Society for Microbiology, will become Chair of the AAAS Board of Directors as of Monday, 21 February. In that capacity, she will serve as a voice for some 10,000 million affiliated scientists worldwide…”
Where, we wonder, does the AAAS get 3 billion affiliates over and above the Earth’s entire human population?
JUST for a moment, Andrew James thought that a web page about Microsoft’s Exchange Server software was about something quite different. Feedback, too, always finds the eye insisting on reading an irrelevant meaning into web addresses like .
COMMENTING on our item about a suggested link between Australia’s obesity epidemic and the fact that the continent is sinking beneath rising sea levels (25 December 2010), Paul Ratcliffe notes that the situation “is, of course, compounded by the people who are not weighing down the continent going swimming and displacing water”.
READER Jim Steel was given a box of novelty for Christmas.
“Yes,” he says. “I could hardly contain my joy.”
He tells us there is a warning on the side of the box “which may be of interest to the sort of people who insist on using the toilet in the dark”.
It says: “This is a novelty item. Glow in the dark coating can rub off the toilet roll. It is not dangerous, but please ensure you wash your hands thoroughly after use.”
It’s good to see the manufacturers keeping customers’ health and safety in mind. However, shouldn’t they also recommend that people using the toilet roll take a shower afterwards? Otherwise, might these people not find an embarrassing glow emanating from elsewhere on their body?