HERE is the transcript of a conversation by text that Lew Hunt had with a well-known cellphone company that we will call CellCorp (CC) in order not to upset any lawyers.
The first text came out of the blue from CC.
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CC: Hello, thanks for contacting CC yesterday. We鈥檒l text you shortly for your feedback about your customer service experience鈥�
A second text soon followed. 聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽
CC: Q1 of 3: How satisfied were you overall with the experience of calling CC yesterday 鈥� on a scale of 5 (very satisfied) to 1 (very dissatisfied)?
Lew: Sorry don鈥檛 remember call.
CC: Sorry you were not satisfied. Q2 of 3: How satisfied were you with the knowledge of the last Adviser you dealt with, from 5 (v satisfied) to 1 (v dissatisfied)?
Lew: DON鈥橳 REMEMBER THE CALL TO CC.
CC: Sorry to hear that. Q3 of 3: How satisfied were you with the warmth & friendliness of the last Adviser, from 5 (very satisfied) to 1 (very dissatisfied)?
Lew: Hello, is there a human out there?
CC: Thank you. Is there anything else you would like to tell us about the way the Adviser handled your query? Please text your comments.
Lew: Wibble kerflunk though i might be mjstzkrn
CC: Thank you for taking part in our survey. Your feedback about our null helps us to continually improve.
Lew wants to know if CC鈥檚 software passes the Turing test.
STRUCK by a website that announced 鈥淐all our toll-free number and speak with a live person,鈥� Kevlin Henney wondered whether there was also the option to communicate with a dead person. When he mentioned this to a friend, he was directed to . This site鈥檚 how-to guides include advice on a range of topics, from 鈥淗ow to Speak Latin鈥� to 鈥淗ow to Make Bahamian Sand Beads鈥�. There is also a page on .
Following a caution about 鈥渇ake mediums鈥� preying on the gullible 鈥� Kevlin questions whether the word 鈥渇ake鈥� is needed here 鈥� the guide presents five techniques for speaking with the dead, including 鈥淯se a Ouija board鈥� and 鈥淧ut yourself in a trance鈥�. In terms of difficulty, the techniques are collectively rated 鈥渕oderately challenging鈥� and come with a handy get-out clause: 鈥淓ven if the dead person you wish to speak with never speaks back, you may find enormous comfort in a one-way conversation.鈥�
Kevlin was sufficiently intrigued to go to an apparently linked page, . Disappointingly, this turned out to be unrelated. Rather than teaching you how to channel your spirit through mediums, it is about making sure you leave plenty of forensic evidence behind if someone kills you.
Does hi-fi sound better in the cold?
WOULD you pay 鈧�19,900 for a cryogenically cooled hi-fi amplifier? Susan Parker noticed these on sale at . Here we are told that the audio output stage of the Demidoff Diamond amplifier 鈥渋s made with two RSS [rounded solid silver] rails built around the proprietary active cryogenic refrigerator鈥�. This lets 鈥渢he amplifier work at a very low temperature producing the highest conductibility available acting as a virtual 鈥榮uper conductor鈥�.鈥�
Looking hard at the photos, Susan could see no sign of any hardware that would drop the temperature to the cryo range of below -150 掳C. As puzzled as she was, we contacted the designers.
鈥淭he refrigerator boxes are aluminium shaped boxes inside the main amplification unit,鈥� explains consulting engineer, Maurizio Aterini. 鈥淲e use Peltier cells to reduce the temperature. The temperature depends on the working conditions, the best is -55 掳C鈥� We use pure silver that is definitely the best conductor available in standard temperature conditions.鈥�
Setting aside the question of whether it is accurate to describe -55 掳C as 鈥渃ryogenic鈥�, we are left wondering why music should sound better through very cold silver wires. Does a hi-fi sound better at the North Pole?
We can see only one way to find out. Buy two Demidoff Diamond amps, switch the Peltier cells off in one of them and play the same music through both. Does anyone have a spare 鈧�40,000 to help us try the experiment?
THE Spirit of Tasmania ferry carries passengers and their vehicles between Melbourne and Tasmania, Australia. Stewart Deans wanted to know how much it would cost to take his car, so he consulted . He was interested to find a price given for vehicles 0.01 metres long 鈥渂ut nothing for smaller vehicles鈥�.
Blueberry tea minus blueberries
FINALLY, the scan of a box of Newton 鈥淏lueberry Balance鈥� tea bags that Brian King sends us has a nice picture of some berries on it and they are indeed blue. But the list of contents specifies 鈥淗ibiscus, Rosehips, Apples, Echinacea Herb, Echinacea Root, Flavourings, Orange Peel, Elderberries and Cinnamon鈥�. No blueberries. So why the name?