Myriad malfunctioning metaphors
NOT only is the world of computing riddled with icons and images representing obsolete kit – such as that which encourages us to save a file to a barely existent floppy disc (25 June) – many of them are broken. Robert Cailliau writes that “the clock widget on my computer screen has a second hand that vibrates slightly after each tick, mimicking a defect of cheap mechanical clocks.â€
Some, like the noises made by digital cameras (30 July), mimic features that thousands of engineer-hours of effort had eliminated in the real world. “The screenshot application makes a shutter noise that I cannot turn off, whereas my real 1973 reflex camera was praised for having an almost inaudible shutter,†Robert says.
Advertisement
Others are inexplicable, to us at least. Robert has a “notebook app†on his iThing that simulates a leather notebook. “The ‘leather’ is properly stitched with fairly regular but not perfect stitches,†he observes, “but on the left hand side there is a column of 14 lines to tap to access different notes – and three of these are rendered unusable by the image of a flap of ‘leather’ covering them up.â€
Then there’s the icon of a shared file folder on his OS X Macintosh system. Now that Robert has high-resolution screens, he asks, “do I need an icon of ‘recycled’ cardboard, inclusive of fibres and grit?â€
“Maybe I should write a book on regression in computer interfaces,†Robert muses. As he just happens to be co-inventor of the World Wide Web, he is qualified, but can readers help him with a title for this phenomenon? Looking for a sciency word, Feedback has tried to discover the Ancient Greek for “gratuitously brokenâ€, and failed.
“John King is puzzled by a message telling him to obtain equipment to receive digital television before his analogue transmitter is turned off – shown on a digital channelâ€
THE UK’s Advertising Standards Authority (ASA) has provided entertaining reading (4 June), and continues. Rupert Roker notes “the rather wonderful claim†that “Liquid Chlorophyll is the most potent blood cleanser and deodorizer. Liquid Chlorophyll has the identical chemical structure to haemoglobin in blood. The only difference being the central atom in blood being iron and Chlorophyll’s central atom being magnesium.†This appears in in the online shop . The ASA has judged at that it “made medicinal claims for an unlicensed productâ€, and that “the ad must not appear again in its current formâ€. So what form will it take?.
NORMALLY delightfully sober, the Financial Times exploring the wilder shores of the imagination of Steve Hilton, strategy director to the British prime minister and husband of Rachel Whetstone, global head of public policy for a Famous Web-Search Engine. “Friends of Hilton†confirmed that he had suggested suspending all consumer-rights legislation for nine months “to see what would happenâ€.
These friends added that when his party was in opposition Hilton had proposed buying cloud-busting technology to provide the UK with more sunshine.
Many UK papers gleefully copied this, but we have found none asking the essential sciency question. Was Hilton referring to the slightly unproven technology of “seeding†clouds with, for example, silver iodide crystals?
Or was he proposing, more worryingly, the utterly hatstand “cloud-buster†based on the “orgone energy†theory of Wilhelm Reich, popularised by one Kate Bush (a popular wailer, Your Honour)?
And might it be, as is so often the case with anonymous confirmations, that Hilton is, as it were, his own friends? Steve, perhaps you could call on a friend to tell us your take on the mysteries of the orgone…
Tax downloadable rice in the European Union… just to see what happens
IT’S possible that Hilton is not a close friend of the Steve Hilton Policy Generator, which appeared at very soon after the Financial Times story mentioned above. “Abolish global warming to harness the power of information, man,†is one of the many proclamations it offers us.
WASHING instruction labels can be confusing, with strange icons that could mean almost anything. This matters, because the wrong heat or additives can wreck favourite clothes. So a friend of Feedback was pleasantly surprised to see a label with clear advice on a kitchen apron made by Denny’s Uniforms. “100 per cent Polyester,†it said. “Use detergent with active whitener.â€
The apron was jet black.         Â
A PLUG in the BBC magazine Radio Times teeters on the edge of sense, then falls off: “The nation’s waterways are perfect for exploring by car whatever the weather,†it tells us. “A drive along one of the country’s many rivers or canals in summer is great for lapping up lush scenery and flowers in bloom…â€
The car being plugged is called, appropriately, the Suzuki Splash.
FINALLY, just before you reach the collection booths on Oklahoma turnpikes, Robert Avakian tells us, you pass beneath signs declaring “Failure to Pay Toll Strictly Enforcedâ€. Robert says he has, despite this, yet to be arrested for successfully paying a toll.