Feedback is our weekly column of bizarre stories, implausible advertising claims, confusing instructions and more
Nano-whatsits invade minds
FOLLOWING our mention of a portmanteau conspiracy theory (13 April), Fred Riley sends an update. That story concerned āNew Evidence Fukushima Disaster Created by HAARP/Chemtrails/Plasma Weapons and Possible Mini-nukeā. This one, posted to the UK on 9 May by someone calling themselves David Lloyd, informs the world that the reason that species and habitats are facing wipeout is āChemtrail spraying of our skies ā NANO sized aluminium and barium particlesā¦ā
Feedback had wondered when a conspiracy theory with nano-whatsits would appear, and here it is.
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What other conspiracy theories might be looming? Could we prepare ourselves pre-emptively to debunk them? For inspiration, we looked to the Feedback list of fruitloopery indicators: words, like āquantumā and āvibrationalā that, out of context, are sure-fire indicators ofā¦ unusual thinking (13 October 2012 and 20 August 2011).
From the list we picked ātachyonā. A famous web search engine informed us that the pairing ātachyon chemtrailsā is already in conspiracy-theory use, at least in the sense that on Ebay there is an āā that promises to protect you against the oh-so-mysterious trails of vapour in the sky. We should have expected that, too.
Astronomer Jay Pasachoff sends us a photo of a sign affixed to the wall of the Indianapolis Convention Center. It says: āPlease Do Not Affix Any Items to the Wallā
Super-extra-complete download
LAST month we reported on Hugh Lawtonās screenshot showing that his download of the MacKeeper programme had reached ā4,100% completeā before he got bored with watching it (25 May).
Marc Smith-Evans writes: āI can do better. Hugh hasnāt reached half way, but then again, how many per cent would be half way?ā
Marc sends us a screenshot of MacKeeper installing on his computer. The screen announces: āDownloading: 9,800% complete.ā
Soap surface surprise
THE āiTouchless 16 oz Automatic Sensor Soap Dispenserā, Carl Zetie notes, is apparently equipped with a āRemovable 3D Containerā (see ). Carl says he is forced to wonder what a 2D container would be like ā or for that matter one in four dimensions or more.
Sad soda
THE line at the bottom of the label on Peter Howardās bottle of Lucozade soft drink bears no discernible relation to the customer services information above it. It says, simply, āIf youāre unhappy keep hold of the bottle.ā
Peter is perplexed. āIf it were something a bit stronger, I could understand,ā he says. āBut a Lucozade bottle?ā
How green is my tile?
IN AN email entitled āThe greenest glass tile everā, Kyle Rebryna tells us: āWith all the focus these days on making everything greener, one assumes that the more recycled content there is, the better the product.ā He gathers that what he has āis the best out thereā.
What he has is a glass tile sold by Rivaās The Eco Store in Calgary, Alberta, Canada. He encloses a photo he took of a sign above the samples in the back room of the store. It says: āFireclay Tile. Crush Glass. American-made glass tile made from over 100 per cent recycled glass.ā
Boxed in
READER Martin Couchman bought a new computer hard drive from Amazon in November last year. He sends a photo of the box it arrived in, showing a solid-looking brown cardboard box with a big red label on it saying āMulti item set. Do not open.ā Martin is now ālooking for ways of making use of the contents of the box. Some sort of wireless communication has been suggested to me, but I donāt think thatāll help.ā
Puffballs not just for skirts
TIDYING some bookshelves, Clare Byrne came across What to Look for in Autumn, a 1960s book for children published by Ladybird. It included what she calls an āarresting statementā about the puffballs commonly found in the UK countryside at that time of year: āLarge fungi of this kind can be made into menās hats, and they are very light and comfortable.ā
Clare can āfind nothing to back this statement up, but would love to see somethingā. So would we.
Horticultural aviation
MANY readers have drawn our attention to the quaintly named āzero gravity garden reclinersā that are currently widely advertised in the UK and are from a variety of manufacturers. Richard Oldmanās comment typifies readersā perplexity about them: āDo these recliners meet health and safety regulations and are pegs included to hold them down, with restraining straps to stop them and their occupants floating off into space?ā
Our red-faced shame
FINALLY, we have, as CERN computer scientist Robert Calliau reminds us, āoften pointed out bad uses of percentages and of the phrase āup toā ā. He asks, āwhat is meant by āevacuation times were reduced by up to 160 per centā in the story on panicky antsā (1 June, p 16). Phrases including āmotesā, ābeamsā, āstonesā and āglass housesā come to mind. We did run a āFor the recordā notice as soon as we saw that in regrettably permanent print (15 June, p 32).
