麻豆传媒

Feedback is our weekly column of bizarre stories, implausible advertising claims, confusing instructions and more

Dinosaurs vs climate change

WARNING: the radio advert to which Barry Cash alerts us is presented at with an apology 鈥� listening to it 鈥減robably decreased your IQ by a couple of points鈥�. It鈥檚 by Ken Ham, founder of , and is aimed at the for US schools. It is no doubt fuelling the continuing opposition in states such as and Texas to the standards鈥� inclusion of the science of evolution and of climate change (5 October, p 7).

The ad warns: 鈥淓volutionists use dinosaurs more than almost anything else to indoctrinate children into millions of years of evolutionary ideas.鈥� How can there be millions of years of ideas, when the ad goes on that 鈥淕od tells us that he created all land animals the same day that he created Man, about 6000 years ago鈥� there were even dinosaurs on Noah鈥檚 Ark鈥�?

The temporal confusion gets worse. Ham鈥檚 website also about climate change. Arguing 鈥� or rather, asserting 鈥� this, the site blithely reproduces a graph of global temperatures over the past 12,000 years.

Do you have inertia?

PUZZLING poster of the week is from Alan Chattaway, who saw a big ad at Calgary airport saying: 鈥淵ou may have inertia and not even know it. Get moving. .鈥� If this is a statement in mechanics, Feedback feels that you will discover that you do, in fact, have inertia the instant you try to get moving.

Pack up my drones

ANOTHER unusual unit reaches us, courtesy of an concerning the US Federal Aviation Administration and forwarded by Andy Johnson-Laird: 鈥淭he FAA estimates that within five years of being granted widespread access, roughly 7500 commercial drones, many of them smaller than a backpack, will be buzzing across US skies.鈥�

That means 鈥渏ust under 7.5 kBP in the skies,鈥� Andy notes. 鈥淚鈥檓 impressed.鈥�

According to our records鈥�

DERBYSHIRE County Council in the UK about delays in processing minerals and waste applications: 鈥淥ur records show that in the future we will be well above the target.鈥� James Cox wants to know when they will start keeping records of future winning lottery numbers, and whether he can join in.

Wild woman of when?

ZANA, according to the Daily Telegraph TV listing for the Bigfoot Files programme on the UK鈥檚 Channel 4 on 3 November, was 鈥渁 鈥榳ild woman鈥�, said to have been found in the 1870s and thought to be a hominid or Neanderthal. Last in the series.鈥�

鈥淵es,鈥� notes Ian Cairns, 鈥渟he probably was.鈥�

New! Improved! Confused!

TELEVISION technology is getting more confusing, just as the medium threatens to disappear into the interwebs. We鈥檝e been told we 鈥渘eed鈥� to upgrade to flat-screen plasma TVs, High Definition liquid crystal displays, then more costly 鈥淔ull HD鈥� sets. Smart TVs that connect to the internet failed to catch on because entering a search from a TV remote keypad is torture.

Now Sony wants us to buy its 鈥淯ltra HD 4k TV鈥�, with four times the picture detail at around four times the price, and has spent a small fortune on a TV advert. It 鈥渋s set to take your breath away as three tonnes of petals erupt from a Costa Rican volcano,鈥� says Sony, 鈥渢o bring to life the fine detail, breath-taking picture quality and rich colour.鈥�

But鈥� but鈥� we can watch these ads only on our current TVs (or laptops). We asked Sony to explain how this will help us appreciate the screen we don鈥檛 have. Now we must quote the spokesperson verbatim: 鈥淲e understand that Sony is at the cutting edge of this technology and that therefore the majority of people don鈥檛 have a 4K TV. However, we wanted to bring this fantastic new technology to their attention in a simple and easy-to-understand way through the medium of TV.鈥�

A TV advert for SCS sofas announces that they are made of 鈥渁 blend of real leather and science鈥�. Charlotte Austin thinks they sound 鈥渃omfy鈥�

As you see here, or not

THE problem of advertising one screen on another, mentioned above, rang a distant bell in Feedback鈥檚 fallible memory. Sony has form. We recall a series of adverts for its then-cutting-edge Trinitron technology in the 1980s 鈥� with the now-ironic tagline 鈥渄esigned to last鈥� and with comic actor John Cleese purporting to do a side-by-side demonstration. We鈥檙e now hunting for black-and-white ads for colour TVs鈥�

Life of my light

FINALLY, scanning a specification sheet for an underwater LED lamp from , Chris Hall was confused by the claim 鈥渓ife expectancy 50,000 hours (+/- 7 years)鈥�. Since 50,000 hours represents about 5.7 years, he writes, 鈥渄oes that mean you could receive the product 鈥榩re-failed鈥�?鈥�

How did that get written, we wondered. We concluded that the following notice should be posted at every copywriter鈥檚 desk (and possibly every translator鈥檚): 鈥淚f you don鈥檛 understand the difference between 鈥榩lus or minus鈥� and 鈥榤ore or less鈥�, stick to selling homeopathic nostrums.鈥�