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Feedback: Band on bankers

Our unexpected influence, to what is aisle 42 the answer, magic knickers not upheld, when software had negative mass and more
Feedback: Band on bankers

(Image: Paul McDevitt)

Feedback is our weekly column of bizarre stories, implausible advertising claims, confusing instructions and more

Band on bankers

THIS publication’s influence seems wider than we thought. Two years ago we reported on research into the world’s economic network, including a beautiful diagram depicting the 1318 transnational corporations at the (22 October 2011, p 8).

This month, we found the same diagram on posters on the London Underground, advertising Antiphon, the new album from – described by as an “impeccably realised meld of bucolic 70s folk and radio-friendly soft rockâ€.

Feedback is still combing the lyrics for references to network topology and to the ownership of the means of production.

Mystery spam reaches Jeff Hecht: why does somebody want to rent him apartments in Ulan Bator? Do they know he has written about dinosaur fossils in Mongolia?

The answer is aisle 42

SUPERMARKET ASDA startled Freddy Heppell by requesting: “Please put unwanted leaflets from magazines in this bin. This bin is also located in aisle 42.†When he attempted to observe it in that aisle, it was not there. Perhaps its quantum waveform had collapsed and it was no longer in a superposition of aisles.

Magic knickers not upheld

FEEDBACK thought promises that Far Infra Red Rays have been “scientifically proven to… melt away… subcutaneous fat and smooth out the skinâ€, and that these benefits could be obtained by buying underwear containing Scala Active BioCrystals, were too good to be true (2 April 2011). John Boyle alerts us to the fact that agrees with us.

Seller was unfortunate, perhaps, that its ad was read by one Ken Harvey in an in-flight magazine – en route to a sceptics’ conference. The administration publication of retractions online and on paper, ruling that the seller “unlawfully made claims that ‘Active BioCrystals’ in the products caused them to be effective in fat reduction, cellulite reduction, reducing body measurements, and reducing clothing size.â€

Belgium collapsed – who knew?

EUROSTAR appears to have re-shaped space, as well as travel times from London to the real world. Piet Roos sends details of his daughter’s booking to visit him in Belgium, helpfully annotated “Arrives Any Belgian station (via Brussels) at 20:05… Duration 02h 01mâ€. Does Belgium know it has been collapsed into a point by a database designer carelessly confusing an offer on prices to “Any Belgian station†with a place in space?

Daft dimensions in print

MORE dimensional confusion arises in the reporting of last month’s alleged UK discovery of gun parts made in a 3D printer.

Nicola Normandale reports BBC news presenter John Humphries reading, apparently untroubled, the headline: “Police in Manchester have seized what they believe are parts for the first 3D gun ever found in this country.†“As opposed to all those tricksy 2D guns we’ve been used to in the past?†she asks. Nicola also points us to a headline in The Guardian newspaper on 25 October: ““. Indeed.

Negative-mass software

A THEORETICAL treatment of the question over what mass, if any, software and other data have continues to elude us (9 November). Readers have, however, offered practical suggestions. A couple of you suggest that “burning†information onto a CD will reduce its mass. But further investigation reveals that the data is, in fact, recorded on a rewritable CD by a laser changing a crystalline metallic film to an amorphous state; and on a write-only disc by a laser’s effect on a photosensitive dye. So now we know.

Others recalled the days when software was stored on punched cards – transporting Feedback back to the special sensory experience of a basement full of computer science students in 1970s nylon shirts. Douglas Shiell notes that “presumably the net mass of the software was negative, since it was expressed as holes in the cardâ€. Indeed it would be, compared to a card full of “blank†characters, each encoded with no holes.

Custom and practice

FINALLY, customs officials have provided some even more practical, if theoretically unsound, guidance on the above question of the materiality of software. Robert Cailliau recalls crossing into Switzerland in 1984 carrying the first spreadsheet program to run on an Apple Macintosh, bought in France at a price equivalent to 600 Swiss Francs. He duly declared the item, but the thick book of customs duties didn’t have an entry for “softwareâ€.

After “unsuccessful attempts at describing to the officer what ‘software’ was, I decided to go for ‘electronics’,†Robert recalls: “He dutifully weighed the disc, did a calculation and charged me about 0.30 francs import duty.â€

And Douglas Shiell recalls a colleague being stopped at customs with a deck of punch cards: “When he was asked if it had any value, he showed the official the cards, and said ‘no, they’ve been used’ and was allowed to pass.â€

Article amended on 1 January 1970

When this article was first published, it misspelled Robert Cailliau’s name.

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