Feedback: Bluetooth pregnancy test is not immaculate conception
Feedback is our weekly column of bizarre stories, implausible advertising claims, confusing instructions and more
Baby Bluetooth
Paul McDevitt
IN AN age of cheap wireless technology, the temptation to add connectivity to your product can be overwhelming, even when you really shouldnāt. Take, for example, First Response, whose latest offering is a Bluetooth-enabled pregnancy test. Once connected to your smartphone, an app will entertain you with music or videos while you wait for a result, and offer advice after the fact.
Engadget journalist Nicole Lee sums up Feedbackās reaction with an article entitled āI donāt need a damn ā, reminding First Response that ānot everything in our lives needs to be connectedā. Is this the worst product yet to join the much-vaunted and equally maligned Internet of Things? Weāre certain you can find others.
App slap
MORE questionable technology: brain-training programs may be a dime a dozen, but app-maker Lumosity finds itself paying out $2 million to over a suite of 40 such games.
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The Federal Trade Commission the company of deceiving customers with unfounded claims that the games could improve performance at work and in school, and reduce cognitive decline. Feedback concludes the smartest thing you can do with brain-boosting apps is bin them.
Babbling brooks
VETERAN readers will recall the enduring legacy of Masaru Emotoās bizarre theory that water can absorb the sentiments of words written on the label. Now, finally, the water is ready to talk back.
Janet Gambles directs our attention to Blue Bottle Loveās āHoāoponoponoā products, which are, er, lovely blue bottles with the word āHoāoponoponoā written on them. This incantation, , āis the powerful, ancient Hawaiian practice of reconciliation and forgiveness that allows the healing of many physical, mental and emotional ailmentsā.
Filling a bottle and placing it in the sun will āincrease the frequency of your water and raise your overall vibrationā when drunk. Furthermore, āthis design represents the cleansing phrases of I love you⦠Thank you⦠I am sorry⦠Please forgive meā.
The latter half of which will be particularly handy when handing a bottle of warm, stale water to a thirsty friend.
Chrome dome
TINFOIL hatters Shield are offering a beanie for warding off stray electromagnetic waves (9 January). Martin Gregorie worries that the construction āis a reasonable approximation to a spherical mirror for radio wavesā, suggesting the signal from a cellphone in the wearerās pocket āwill be intercepted by the inside of the beanie, where it will be focused onto a small part of the usersā brainā.
However, Shield deflects this criticism. āMany people are asking about signals that come through other parts of head and hit the inside of the reflective cap, then pass back through the brain a second time or stay inside and multiply their power,ā writes the company. āThis is ridiculous.ā Finally, something we all agree on.
Cheaper by the pound?
Craig Borland is helpfully informed by internet megamart Amazon that the WileyFox Swift smartphone is Ā£129.99, or āĀ£52/100g
Year in review
WEāRE heartened ā rather inexplicably, we admit ā to learn that 2016 is a palindrome year when written in binary after all, provided youāre willing to climb to the appropriate vantage point. John Hurst writes to reveal that 2016 can be written in 16 bits as 0000011111100000. āThis is the only palindromic 16-bit binary year in most peopleās lifetime,ā says John, though younger readers can look forward to celebrating again in 2064.
Time sensitive
MORE forward planning: Martin Stevenson is informed by his anti-virus program that his protection expires in ā21198813 daysā, and is encouraged to renew now to stay fully protected. Better safe than sorry, we think ā although 58,000 years is a generous margin of error.
Confounding factor
PREVIOUSLY, Feedback discovered āinternational visionary and energy healing practitionerā Douglas Ballard, who claims he can accurately answer any question (2 January). Tim Stevenson writes: āPerhaps this sage should be asked, āWhy do you not know the answer to this question?'ā
Difference of opinion
A PAIR of papers published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences caught Richard Pearsonās eye.
LAST month, David Taub asked for a word to describe chancing upon something that you really wish you didnāt know existed (9 January). For online encounters, Tony Kline suggests āyuk-hit, pronounced yukkitā. Itās a start, though weāre not sure āyukā really sums up the worst the web can throw at us.
Off the rails
Paul McDevitt
LEVITATING trains may have come to southern England sooner than expected. Barrie Watson forwards news from the BBC that āthere were difficulties on the Southern network when a sinkhole caused trains between Redhill in Surrey and Tonbridge in Kent to be suspendedā. Letās hope passengers werenāt left hanging around for long.