
What is it like to feel you are addicted to pornography? Anti-porn campaigners are increasingly warning of a public health crisis, an epidemic of men suffering from impotence, coldness towards their partners, and worse. We’ve examined the evidence for porn addiction and found it is at most a minor problem, but there are some (mostly men) who say it is ruining their lives.
To find out why, we spoke to Alexander Rhodes, founder of , a website that helps people stop using porn, generally through three-months of abstinence from sex and masturbation, known as “rebootingâ€.
Rhodes was 21 when he became unhappy with his 4-times-a-day porn habit. He could only stay erect during sex by fantasising about porn. “I was at a low point and seeking answers to why I felt such a slave to this.â€
After quitting, he says, “it was like night and day – it’s really life-changing in terms of sexual encounters. You start to care if they had an enjoyable experience, rather than this one-sided race to an orgasm.†He also felt it improved his energy and motivation.
Rhodes spun off a Reddit group into a commercial website, which he now, age 26, runs full-time. The site has been criticised for exaggerating the benefits of quitting – on its front page, it promises people superpowers. But Rhodes says that’s how it feels when people’s potential is no longer “squelched by their addiction to pornâ€. Many ex-users report impressive benefits like better sleep, clearer skin and more confidence, although some of that could be a placebo effect.
NoFap claims over a million monthly users across its social media sites, though Rhodes won’t give exact figures. “You have no idea how many men tell me ‘I really want to thank you’. A surprisingly large number of women say they struggle with a lot of the same side effects too.â€
Rhodes says he has no problem with masturbation except when it involves pornography. “We want people to make educated decisions about how to use their genitals.â€
He always wanted an online career. After college he had a brief stint at Google, so he’s “living the dreamâ€. “Maybe it’s not my original dream, but it’s close. It just has a little bit more to do with porn than I envisioned.â€
This article appeared in print under the headline “Make educated decisions about using your genitalsâ€