Carrot and schtick
JUST the thing for the dead-eyed among us: beauty company Mirenesse promises more youthful skin with an eyecare serum 鈥�, which can be thought of as a 鈥榊outh Switch鈥� for skin cells鈥�. The company adds that the tonic 鈥渨ill turn the lights back ON in the ageing skin cells鈥�.
Feedback once had a solar keratosis cut out of the side of our head, in which our ageing cells were a little too turned on. Our doctor recommended not exciting them any further, so we鈥檒l give this product a miss.
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Enno Davids, who brought the serum to our attention, notes that the cream also contains 鈥渟tem cells鈥�, from, er, Himalayan red rice and carrots. So a few drops could revive your peepers 鈥� or your paella.
鈥淧eter Watson discovers a company acting on instinct as revealed by the Globe and Mail, which tells him: 鈥淲ells Fargo plans to eliminate sales goals sooner than planned.鈥濃��
Spreading it thin
FOLLOWING the Conservative party conference in Birmingham, Feedback can鈥檛 help but wonder if a problem with the catering is distracting minds from Brexit.
A key plank in Britain鈥檚 post-European Union fortunes is formerly disgraced defence secretary Liam Fox, now heading the Department for International Trade. During the conference, his office announced an opening business pitch with the quixotic Twitter declaration: 鈥淔rance needs high quality, innovative British jams & marmalades.鈥� Perhaps winning a Nobel prize that can only be described in pastry shapes (8 October, p 6) demands a technically proficient jambassador?
Making a meal of it
MEANWHILE, would-be prime minister Andrea Leadsom, no stranger to getting into a pickle herself (16 July), expressed hopes that young Britons would take on the low-paid, fruit-picking work previously carried out by EU migrant workers. Andrew R. T. Davies, the Conservative who leads the opposition in the Welsh Assembly, vowed that the party would make 鈥渂reakfast鈥� a success .
While the odd focus on food at the conference gives Britain鈥檚 economic plan the air of a bake sale, Brits are left to worry how badly they鈥檒l be jarred by Brexit when negotiations start in March 鈥� an innovative jam of our own making.
Golden nuggets
IN A twist on the tale of the golden goose, a 35-year-old employee of the Royal Canadian Mint has been found in possession of a CAN$180,000 nest egg, allegedly smuggled out of the building in gold nuggets hidden about his person. Police were alerted after a bank teller noticed repeated deposits from Ottawa Gold Buyers appearing in Leston Lawrence鈥檚 account.
He is alleged to have hidden several pucks of gold 鈥� each around 5 centimetres across and some 210 grams in weight 鈥� in his backside to evade the metal detector at the mint鈥檚 exit. However, the mint was unable to prove Lawrence鈥檚 gold was stolen, or indeed that any was missing from his workplace.
When investigators discovered a tub of Vaseline in Lawrence鈥檚 work locker, it was left to one member of security staff to test the prosecutor鈥檚 theory, certainly achieving a new gold standard in employee dedication.
Graeme Faris, who forwards us this story, notes that the case is being presided over by one .
Formula for confusion
A DIVISIVE topic: Lance Hartland writes to shed light on the curious use of maths on Greenland sales tags (24 September). 鈥淢y mother was born in Denmark in the 1920s, and I remember her saying that she was taught that the 梅 sign meant 鈥榤inus鈥� and the : sign meant 鈥榙ivide鈥�.鈥�
As Greenland is part of the Danish realm, he supposes that old habits are dying hard among the glaciers. Feedback thinks this sounds positively confusing and can鈥檛 help but note that the 梅 symbol, or obelus (for that is its name), was historically used to denote questionable passages in manuscripts.
Float on
FLYING VISIT: 鈥淭ake only pictures and leave only footprints,鈥� said many a naturalist. But a sign on Green Island, part of Australia鈥檚 Great Barrier Reef, cautions Lance Stewart against even that, telling him: 鈥淒o not sit or stand.鈥�
鈥淟uckily I was only hovering around at the time,鈥� he says.
Heisenberg Haulage Co
ALSO left perplexed is Karyn Houssenloge, who found herself behind a truck on which a sign warned: 鈥淐aution. Truck constantly stopping and reversing.鈥� She says that 鈥渄espite the warning, it was actually in neither of these states but going forward鈥�.
Post truth
MORE open-ended promises and the companies that deliver them 鈥� or fail to. Barrie Wells finds the most expensive service from Parcelforce, branded Global Express, offers shipping windows 鈥渇rom one day鈥�. The cheapest option is capped at 鈥�4-6 days鈥�.
鈥淚 paid twice as much for the former, because I wanted my parcel to arrive as quickly as possible,鈥� says Barrie. 鈥淚t took nine days. I have no recourse, because they are technically correct, it was delivered in one day or more.鈥�