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Feedback: Flat Earthism bounces back on US basketball courts

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flat basketball

Courting controversy

FLAT Earthism is on the rise, as basketball superstar Shaquille O’Neal has announced that he too cannot accept the world is round. O’Neal was speaking in defence of Cleveland Cavaliers star Kyrie Irving and several other NBA players, who revealed their geodesic doubts last month.

would only have to stand on tip toe to see Earth’s curvature, but he insisted on his podcast: “I drive from Florida to California all the time, and it’s flat to me. I do not go up and down at a 360-degree angle.†Is this Dadaist humour from the courts, or is basketball in the grip of geometric conspiracy theory? We can only surmise that an intervention from the Harlem Globetrotters – who must surely accept reality – is needed.

“Dark chocolate aficionado Mark Ribbands was delighted to find that his bar of Fortnum and Mason’s Beyond the Abyss contains “a minimum of 100% cocoa solidsâ€.â€

Call it crafterbirth

A STRANGE pattern is emerging among talent show presenters in the UK, who are adopting a rather visceral approach to motherhood. Last week Feedback heard news of the latest celebrity diet involving small portions of weird, unappetising foods: singer Bo Bruce, host of The Voice UK, revealed she was popping pills containing the dried mincemeat of her own placenta.

Now we discover that the creative use of human remains in interior design goes beyond the decor of the Sawyer clan in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Step forward singer Rochelle Humes, one-time host of The Xtra Factor, who posted a photo on Instagram showing her newborn’s framed umbilical cord, looped and twisted to make the word “loveâ€. We can only imagine Humes has two more children planned, to complete the trifecta with “live†and “laugh†frames.

While commending these women’s dedication to a zero waste lifestyle, Feedback can’t help feeling that spelling out words in human entrails ought to feature on the résumés of TV serial killers rather than TV talent show hosts. Consequently we are moved to warn future entrants to such programmes that when the judges say they want their pound of flesh, they might just mean it.

Surgical spirit

FOR some time, Feedback has been dimly aware of Anthony William, the self-described “medical medium†who performs diagnoses and offers alternative treatments with the help of a spirit guide, in lieu of any actual medical qualifications.

This week we find ourselves inexplicably drawn to his website, which offers testimonials from the great and the Goop (as Gwyneth Paltrow’s mystic lifestyle brand is – inevitably – linked to William).

Craig Kallman, CEO of Atlantic Records, declares that “Anthony is a magician for all my label’s recording artists, and if he were an album, he would far surpass °Õ³ó°ù¾±±ô±ô±ð°ùâ€. Feedback imagines that artists signed to Atlantic might be less than thrilled if their healthcare coverage turns out to be administered by a magician; we’re sure Feedback readers can suggest more apposite album titles.

You must be kidding

A PROMOTIONAL email from Whitsand Bay Hotel has a surprising bonus for those exploring the rugged coastline of Cornwall, informing recipients that “2 children under the age of 12 are included in this Special offerâ€. Ian Henderson writes: “It turns out you have to take your own.â€

Word flow

ON ELEMENTAL spelling, Keith Perring noted that element Tennessine (Ts)would only help “forming the plurals of certain slang terms†(11 March).

“I have to politely disagree†says Danny Shrestha, “and surge forth with Tennessine, Uranium, Nitrogen, Americium and Iodine.â€

Dark matter

MEANWHILE, Pete Scamper thinks the versatility provided by elements with symbols that contain more than one letter shouldn’t be neglected. “When I taught chemistry, I used to challenge my students to identify the foodstuff made from a particular list of elements,†he writes. “The list begins promisingly: carbon, hydrogen, oxygen, then less probably: cobalt, lanthanum and telluriumâ€.

Tall ships

tall ship

NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC has turned its lens on that curious migratory species, the cruise ship vacationer, in a profile of the world’s largest ocean-going resort. But Martin Edwards is left perplexed over the description that The Harmony of the Seas is “taller than Mount Rushmoreâ€.

“ are only 18 metres tall, which means that the 18 decks need be only one metre each,†he writes. “But if the claim is that the ship is taller than Mount Rushmore itself, then each deck will be close to 100 metres high, and the vessel would be a hazard to aircraft.â€

On the plus side, if it’s raining on the lower decks, Martin says it may be sunny on the upper deck, if a bit cold for swimming.

High times

STARTING at the back of Âé¶¹´«Ã½ – as we’re certain all connoisseurs of the magazine do – Matthew Campbell then moves leftward to the lighter material.

“I was disturbed to discover there that ‘Feedback is one of six behavioural addiction factors’,†he writes (4 March). “Do you think I should go cold turkey on Âé¶¹´«Ã½?†Sounds unappetising, Mat – and Feedback is worried this means our column falls foul of the Psychoactive Substances Act.

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