麻豆传媒

Fast forward to bedtime

Ever feel like the minutes are dragging by? Become a time lord with this remote-control clock

鈥淚 never lie to my kids. But I have been known to bend the truth at bedtime,鈥� says Tae K. Knapp. 鈥淪ince they learned to read clocks there鈥檚 no chance of sneaking them upstairs before curfew. I鈥檓 too sleep deprived to think of a solution.鈥�

Kids are angels 鈥� until bedtime. Like coffee, beer and broccoli, it is a thing you only learn to appreciate as an adult. Usual tactics don鈥檛 apply: 鈥済o to your room鈥� is already the aim, and sugary bribes aren鈥檛 conducive to a quiet night. Avoiding a tantrum may seem impossible, but all you have to do is master the fourth dimension. It鈥檚 easier than you think.

I started by vandalising my wall clock. My thinking was that attaching a mini motor to the time-setting dial could let me fast-forward the nightly ritual like an ad break. Winding it on by hours at a time won鈥檛 fool any keen-eyed kids, so instead, I aimed for a subtle speed up. Sprinkling in some leap seconds by adding a little twist every minute or two does the trick.

To avoid arousing suspicion, I needed a wireless way to trigger the clock. I already had a universal remote control 鈥� this could be my way to control the universe. I added an infrared receiver to the clock and a little chip that could decode the signal.

I don鈥檛 have kids, so to test it out I purged the room of other time-telling devices and called some of my least favourite friends. Getting rid of them usually means fabricating an emergency, but there are only so many bees my mother鈥檚 imaginary pug can swallow.

As we sat down, I realised I had positioned myself all wrong. I had to hide the remote up my sleeve while stretching awkwardly to zap the clock. The effect was so subtle that I wasn鈥檛 sure it was working, leading me to get a little trigger-happy. Before long, time had run away from me, and my guests ended up leaving an hour before they arrived.

I can only presume the technique is just as effective for little ones. A lifelong inability to judge the passage of time is a small price to pay for well-rested kids 鈥� and parents. If all else fails, you could always send them to your least favourite friends for a sleepover.

• Let us solve your domestic trifles. No problem is too small for our resident tech wizards. Tell us what鈥檚 bothering you and we鈥檒l build a fix.