Duncan Cowles
; US release in 2025
Scottish film-maker Duncan Cowles has always been rubbish at talking about his feelings. He was born into a family of stoic, 鈥渟ilent men鈥� for whom love is something you only express in a birthday card. By his mid-twenties, keeping everything bottled up started to get to Cowles and seem more personal because of the reported crisis in men鈥檚 mental health.
Men are consistently less likely than women to seek help or admit they are struggling, despite decades of public health messages and mainstream discussion. In the UK, suicide is the leading cause of death for men under 50. Cowles wants to break the silence and 鈥渙pen up鈥� 鈥� but how?
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In Silent Men: The awkward art of expressing emotion, his first feature-length documentary, Cowles seeks not only to understand this emotional block, but to push past it. Over six years, from the age of 26, he records fumbling attempts at intimacy in interviews with his parents, his friends and volunteers.
On one level, Silent Men is a fond, personal, often funny exploration of the difficulty of communicating honestly with the people who know you best. But it also tries to provide a public service by shining a spotlight on unspoken suffering, something recognised in a special mention at its premiere during Sheffield DocFest, UK, this June. The festival鈥檚 jury was 鈥渋mpressed by the vulnerable approach to a sensitive subject鈥�.
A self-effacing everyman figure, Cowles makes the most of his tortured self-narration and awkwardness on screen, often to comedic effect. Whenever he feels his material is getting too heavy, he cuts to nature scenes 鈥� illustrating how easy it is to put off difficult conversations. Even interviewees challenge him about whether the documentary is just a distraction.
It is a credit to Cowles鈥檚 skill as a film-maker that you find yourself rooting for him to find the courage to tell his parents how he feels. Yet these elements, though engaging, can鈥檛 help but keep his investigation into the crisis of men鈥檚 mental health somewhat surface level.
Though Cowles wonders whether his emotional blocks are a product of nature or nurture, his enquiry is limited to a quick chat with a clinical psychologist, who suggests that though there are some distinctions between male and female brains, men鈥檚 emotional reticence is more meaningfully the product of culture.
The psychologist refers to a study that purportedly found babies given blue blankets weren鈥檛 held for as long as those with pink blankets. It appears to show the perniciousness of gender stereotypes 鈥� but citation, and more examples, would have helped give heft to Cowles鈥檚 point that men face particular challenges.
Silent Men is most powerful when Cowles turns the camera on others to show the potential harms of withdrawing emotionally. We meet 鈥淛ohn鈥� from Newcastle, UK, so determined not to show weakness or ask for help that he didn鈥檛 tell his wife about his spinal tumour. Cowles shows how the secret destroyed John鈥檚 marriage and nearly killed him. John鈥檚 final speech, warning men not to suffer in silence (鈥淚t鈥檒l snowball, and it鈥檒l kill you鈥�), might register when other warnings failed.
Cowles also shows the impact of silent men on women. When he interviews his partner about her experience, it is clear that the wounds from early in their relationship are still raw. Cowles鈥檚 mother, too, admits she has learned to be less emotionally demonstrative after years with his taciturn dad.
His self-experiment in Silent Men is Cowles鈥檚 attempt to break their pattern. Though he doesn鈥檛 quite get the on-screen catharsis he craves, the film is a worthy tribute to the importance of pursuing connection, no matter the obstacles.
Elle Hunt is a writer based in聽Norwich,聽UK
Need a listening ear? UK Samaritans: 116123 (); US 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: 988 (). Visit for other countries
