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â–² Slow walkers

The UK’s Ordnance Survey is to recalculate how long walking routes take. Its Victorian-era formula currently generates times that are unrealistically fast for many hikers.

â–² Patient physicists

The radioactive decay of xenon-124 has been observed. With a half-life of a trillion times the age of the universe, it makes watching paint dry an extreme sport.

â–² Donald Trump

In other rare news, the US president has come out in favour of science. He declared “vaccinations are so important” in response to US measles outbreaks.

â–¼ Russian whale

A whale wearing a harness marked “Equipment of St Petersburg” may have been trained by the Russian navy. Or perhaps it just liked visiting cathedrals?

â–¼ Asteroid Ryugu

Japan confirmed it had blasted a hole in asteroid Ryugu, going a small way to avenging the dinosaurs.