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Last Word is Â鶹´«Ã½â€™s long-running series in which readers give scientific answers to each other’s questions, ranging from the minutiae of everyday life to absurd astronomical hypotheticals. To answer a question or ask a new one, email lastword@newscientist.com
I recently lost my dog and good friend, Milou, to old age. I cry a lot for him, and wonder why crying helps us so much?
Randolph R. Cornelius
Professor Emeritus, Vassar College, Poughkeepsie, New York, US
Scientists have discovered that crying, by which we mean shedding tears, happens for a number of reasons and that it, indeed, helps us – often a great deal.
Shedding emotional tears, sometimes called weeping, evolved in humans – we appear to be the only animals that do this – to elicit help from those around us.
In infants, crying, which is initially a vocalisation that can develop into full-scale weeping, serves the purpose of alerting the infant’s caregivers that the child is in need of something, whether it be nourishment, warmth or ridding it of pain.
Tears are an unmistakable signal that something is wrong in the infant’s experience. As such, those who study tears regard it as an “attachment signal”, an idea promoted by the English ethologist and developmental psychologist John Bowlby.
Attachment signals not only help bring us much-needed aid and comfort when we are young. Studies in the past 25 years have found that the tears of adults signal to other adults that the weeping person is in need. Thus, when we weep, others are likely to help us. But what about the kind of tears the questioner seems to be describing: tears that may appear when we are alone?
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Tears are an unmistakable symbol of how much the loved one, human or otherwise, meant to us
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Although the answer has been difficult to pin down, it looks as if – as many of us who are frequent weepers know from our own experience – weeping indeed has an intrapersonal function, as well as the interpersonal function I described previously. Shedding tears has the effect of decreasing the physiological “arousal” that accompanies emotions like sadness or mourning. That term might seem odd, but while we may not feel like doing anything when we are saddened by the death of a beloved dog or cat, our bodies are in a state of physiological arousal. Letting tears of sadness or remembrance fall may indeed give us some solace.
Tears are also an unmistakable symbol of how much the loved one, human or otherwise, meant to us. This, in itself, may help us achieve a sense of closure. Note that the two explanations of emotional tears, the interpersonal and the intrapersonal, aren’t mutually exclusive. At the same time that our tears bring about a change in our physiological arousal level, others may see that we are in need and offer us hugs and consoling words.
Ad Vingerhoets
Professor Emeritus, Tilburg University, The Netherlands
We conducted a worldwide study in which we asked approximately 5500 participants many details about their most recent crying episode, including how they felt after having cried. Exactly 50 per cent reported a mood improvement, 40 per cent reported feeling no change in mood, and the remaining 10 per cent felt worse. This made us realise that the better question – instead of the question of whether crying is beneficial – is: “For whom, and in which conditions, does crying make us feel better?” We found three crucial factors.
First is the mental condition of the crier. Surprisingly, those who tend to cry more often seldom report the beneficial effects of crying. Thus, those who need it the most don’t benefit!
The second factor is the nature of the antecedent – what happened to elicit crying? We distinguished between uncontrollable events – such as the passing away of a significant other – and controllable events – such as an argument. We found that crying mainly makes people feel better after controllable events, and helps much less after uncontrollable ones.
Third is how bystanders react to the tears. If they respond with understanding and support, then you feel better. However, if they ridicule you or become mad and you feel shamed, then it is less likely that you will feel better.
Another factor that may play a role is that we often cry when we are in a deep, low mood. This means that after some time, by definition, we feel better (a return to baseline). That return to baseline might be misinterpreted as an increase in mood.
On the internet and in popular magazines, one can often read that the beneficial effect is likely to result from either an increase in the brain levels of substances like oxytocin or endorphins; the removal by tears of toxic substances and stress hormones from the blood; or an increase in parasympathetic activity, which results in relaxation.
However, regarding the first point, this is just a hypothesis. We did a study in which we measured the effects of crying on pain perception. If substances like endorphins or oxytocin were involved, one would expect a reduced pain perception, but that wasn’t the case.
Regarding the second point, this claim doesn’t make scientific sense. Yes, like saliva, tears are distilled from the blood, which implies that blood levels of certain hormones and other substances can be represented in the levels in tears. However, that doesn’t mean that these substances are actively removed from the blood by this route.
Finally, regarding the increase in parasympathetic activity, the initial problem is that we cannot determine what comes first: is the increase in parasympathetic activity followed by the onset of crying, or is it the other way around? While there is no evidence in support of the idea that crying makes us feel better via changes in neurobiological processes, there is strong evidence that the sight of tears makes bystanders more empathic and more likely to provide support and comfort, which has a positive impact on the well-being of the crier.
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