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Tenelle Porter
Rowan University, New Jersey, US
Psychologically speaking, one explanation is that people need to experience themselves as competent. Errors conflict with the notion of a competent self, causing uncomfortable internal turmoil. People try to resolve this by distancing themselves from the mistake. In the process, they may actually convince themselves that they did not err, meaning they may never even learn from the error (a grave problem!).
Nonetheless, we can own up to errors. Alongside our baser impulses, we can self-reflect, strive to uphold values and ideals, and practise and grow in traits like honesty, humility and compassion (even if these don’t always feel easy to us). In many traditions, we teach children to take responsibility for their mistakes rather than lie about or deny them.
This raises the issue of the anthropological perspective. Indeed, the situations people find themselves in have a powerful and often underestimated influence on their behaviour. In our research, my colleagues and I find that certain cultures make it harder to own up to mistakes. Cultures characterised by cut-throat, dog-eat-dog competition, for example, discourage people from coming clean about their errors. By contrast, cultures in which learning and growth are highly valued encourage people to take responsibility and learn from their mistakes. To the extent that cultures value humility and their leaders model humility – thereby establishing it as a norm – people will be more apt to own up to their errors.
Hillary Shaw
Newport, Shropshire, UK
We dislike taking responsibility for our mistakes because it would reduce our breeding potential, like trimming a peacock’s tail. Humans value status, which can be gained through wealth, wisdom, height, physical strength or facial symmetry. These signals of fitness or intelligence are our peacock’s tail, and help us gain and keep a mate. Admitting we got it wrong may, we often feel, be a sign of lesser brain power.
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Cultures characterised by cut-throat, dog-eat-dog competition discourage people from coming clean about their errors
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However, we have moved on from medieval times to a world of softer emotional power, so one could argue that a willingness to admit to mistakes might be a sign of greater emotional intelligence, which partners should value. Yet we still live in a monetised society, mistakes can cost money – whether at work or as a politician seeking votes and power – and wealth is the new strength. So, we probably aren’t going to see lots of people confessing to mistakes anytime soon.
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