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Feedback: What makes cells despondent?

Despondent cells, Mƶbius baking trays, frozen air, and more
Feedback: What makes cells despondent?
(Image: Paul McDevitt)

What makes cells despondent?

ā€œTHE next time someone asks me whether I’m unwell, I’ll be sure to say that my cells are despondent,ā€ Su Chiang informs us, after receiving an email from E. A. Martinez of LinearDynamics-Energy.com.

The email, entitled ā€œRadioactive Particulate Deflection Technologyā€, is addressed to ā€œPredominant Medical Communityā€. In it, Martinez announces: ā€œWe are the manufacturers of The XCL Power Producer. We provide energy at zero emissions and in doing that at zero emissions, we create a resonance field, at 5 over…

ā€œEssentially, what this means for your medical staff, university, and patients, is that we manufacture an apature [sic] that can heal the human body without surgery or medical inductors (medications). How this works, is in direct correlation to the molecular structure on the sub cellular level in the despondency of the cell membrane. As you may know, most cells in the human body turn clockwise in normal cell structure. Counterclockwise is the despondencyā€¦ā€

The email continues in this vein for several more paragraphs, without once making any kind of sense.

Mystery promotion of the week: a shop Daniel Smith passed in Upway, Victoria, Australia, displayed a sign outside offering ā€œTraditional Chinese and Quantum Biofeedback Medicineā€

Heart failure ā€œnot very seriousā€

THIS is quite puzzling. Liam Graham recently read the ā€œInformation for the userā€ leaflet in a pack of Boots Ibuprofen caplets. Possible side effects of the drug are listed under two categories.

First, there are the ā€œserious side effectsā€, such as blood in stools. If one of these side effects occurs, the user is advised to ā€œstop taking the caplets. See a doctor at once.ā€

ā€œFair enough,ā€ says Liam. It is the second category that confuses him. ā€œThese other effects are less serious,ā€ according to the leaflet. ā€œIf they bother you talk to a pharmacist.ā€ This list includes ā€œkidney problems, which may lead to kidney failureā€ and ā€œhigh blood pressure, heart failureā€.

Liam can’t quite understand why these effects are categorised as ā€œless seriousā€ than the earlier ones. He also wonders whether one would be in a fit state to talk to a pharmacist after being ā€œbotheredā€ by heart failure.

He has posted a copy of the leaflet at .

Tapping feet to move the earth

USERS of some hand-held devices have, in the past, been frustrated that they couldn’t display online content delivered by Adobe’s Flash software such as Google Maps. ā€œKind and clever Tom Strapps provided a website at to rectify this,ā€ says Richard Keyworth.

Sadly, the site has disappeared. Feedback is inquiring whether this has any connection with Google’s copyright policy people, who may well have regarded this reuse of their maps as unauthorised – even though their employer has argued that using bits of other people’s content – such as snippets of books – is ā€œfair useā€.

Or is it something to do with Tom being cleverer than he is aware? When we checked his online map last year, it gave the elevation of our office as 35.98628234863281 metres above mean sea level. That could well be described as precise. But when we tapped our foot on the floor, the figure didn’t change, despite the flexibility of the underlying London clay. We are trying to contact Tom about an even cleverer real-time version of his map, displaying the earth moving as we tap.

Baking with a Moebius strip

WE RECENTLY asked for readers’ ideas on how to help Charles Croll lay slices of a biscuit mixture ā€œcut side upā€ in a baking tray, when the pieces had been sliced from a roll and were therefore mostly cut on both sides (5 January). This challenge irritated some readers as an example of Feedback pedantry. Others responded with lateral thinking.

Neil Wickens saw two possible solutions. One of these was to ā€œbake them at the centre of the Earth, in which case both sides will be ā€˜up'ā€. The other was to ā€œsend one set of sides, via quantum entanglement, to me here in Australia and I will bake them for Charlesā€.

David Aldred had an equally original solution. This was to use a Mƶbius strip baking pan. ā€œBoth sides of each slice would be up – or down, or both,ā€ he claims.

ā€œIt is, I think, less messy if you use these pans in zero gravity,ā€ he adds.

So cold the air is frozen

FINALLY, those of us who live in the UK and other parts of northern Europe have experienced bitterly cold weather in recent weeks. Even so, Nic Plum was startled to read this sign at a petrol station forecourt in Huntingdon, Cambridgeshire: ā€œDue to weather the air is frozen.ā€

Nic hadn’t realised it was quite so cold and wondered whether he needed another layer of clothing. Then he noticed that the sign was taped over the machine for inflating tyres.