麻豆传媒

Feedback is our weekly column of bizarre stories, implausible advertising claims, confusing instructions and more

Light of whose life?

POWER your home 鈥�24 hrs a day with green energy generated by your solar system,鈥� says the website , plugging the 鈥渞evolutionary product鈥� Midnight Sun. It goes on to say that users can still benefit from the 鈥淔eed in Tariff鈥�. That鈥檚 what the 鈥済uaranteed鈥� price at which people with solar panels can sell their excess electricity to the National Grid.

Reader Simon Mallett dug around and found reports that , and its rated storage capacity is 9 kilowatt-hours of energy.

Simon wants to know how long it would take to recoup your investment. A friend of Feedback contacted Awe Energy for details, but received no response. As far as we can tell, the device stores electricity generated when it is sunny, leaving you with less to sell to the grid at the Feed in Tariff. It supplies a rather small amount at night, reducing what you buy at a normal price. The tariff structure is complicated, but Feedback thinks the answer to Simon鈥檚 question is probably 鈥渘ot in your lifetime鈥� and may even be 鈥渘ever鈥�. It鈥檚 impossible to be sure, because the 鈥済uaranteed鈥� tariff can be changed at the click of a government mouse.

What should James Parsons make of the sign in a shop that sells beer declaring: 鈥淣o alcohol that鈥檚 opened to be consumed on the premises鈥�? What is forbidden that鈥檚 possible, and why?

Tinkerers defeated

DECADES ago, Feedback met 鈥済reen鈥� tinkerers experimenting with solar photovoltaic collectors, batteries and 鈥渋nverters鈥� to produce of alternating current 鈥� exactly the set-up that we presume lies behind the Midnight Sun device mentioned above. The tinkerers gave up.

Parcel of puzzles

FEEDBACK is more confused than ever about how many dimensions parcels have, and what these are. We reported Mike Goldstein鈥檚 puzzlement at receiving a box marked 鈥�26 脳 15 脳 7 脳 1.4鈥� (19 October). We wondered, as did he, whether the 1.4 was in units of time.

Michael Teasdale writes of a carrier that 鈥渃alculates the charge by multiplying the volume of the parcel by the weight鈥�. That could get pricey fast. And Feedback has met the concept of an 鈥渋ndex鈥� of volume computed by adding the longest dimension to double the width and double the height 鈥� giving a one-dimensional measure of how hard it is to fit the parcel in a sack (6 July).

Looking for more evidence, we discover the UK Post Office concept of 鈥溾��: multiply the three dimensions in centimetres, divide by 5000 and pay the charge for the resulting number, as if it were a weight in kilograms, if it is greater than the actual weight. Ouch.

Norman Paskin says that Mike鈥檚 fourth figure may be the thickness of the card, in an unspecified unit, and Markus van der Burg points out that this could indicate what the box is suitable for.

We still suspect time is involved: possibly how many seconds after we popped out for a pint of milk did they visit, find us gone and leave a failed-delivery card.

A holiday in the past

THE 鈥淭ravelZoo鈥� two-day holiday offer that Rachel Hankins found on informed her that if she took up the offer, the adjustable 鈥淎rrival Date鈥� for her holiday was set at 鈥淭hurs 01 Jan 1970鈥�. The page failed to explain what method of time travel would be employed to arrive on this date (which happens to be the beginning of time for Unix-flavoured computer systems).

Sculpture is not for everyone

RESTRICTIONS on visits to the near Auckland, New Zealand, had Shane Dwyer and his wife impressed but a little concerned. The park鈥檚 website emphasises that it is privately owned and is open just one day a month, by prior appointment only. And not everyone is entitled to visit: only 鈥渁rtists, educational institutions, charities and the public鈥�. Shane asks what the restriction means. Feedback deduces that official delegations of non-artistic uncharitable MPs are forbidden.

Waiting at the wetland

SUCCESSFULLY gaining entrance to a holiday destination, Simon Holloway saw a sign in the UK Wildfowl and Wetland Trust鈥檚 . Above a charming picture of an otter, it says: 鈥淥tter talks 11.30 am, 3.00 pm.鈥�

鈥淚 waited,鈥� says Simon, 鈥渂ut didn鈥檛 hear them utter a thing.鈥�

Clock-watching

FINALLY, holidays also exercise the Victorian Government in Australia. Peter Bennet, who works in one of the state鈥檚 high schools, quotes its : 鈥淎n employee is entitled to long service leave鈥� at the rate of 495.6967 hours (three months) after 10 years full time service and at the rate of 247.84835 hours (one and a half months) for each completed five years of service thereafter.鈥�

Peter reckons this means that leave is calculated to the nearest 10,000th of an hour in the first case and to 100,000th of an hour 鈥� 36 milliseconds 鈥� in the latter. 鈥淚 knew they were keeping a close check on my time off,鈥� he says, 鈥渂ut this seems excessive.鈥�